


Everyone is Francium

by Dodo



Series: Animal AUs no one asked for [10]
Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Feels, Exposition, Light Angst, M/M, Made Up Science, Slime, everything is moist, hagfish mosh pit, sad Steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 08:43:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17864117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dodo/pseuds/Dodo
Summary: Tony makes dream chairs with the Alchemist’s help, they don’t go so well and get transported to another verse featuring Bucky who is transporting hagfish, it turns into a slimey ordeal.





	Everyone is Francium

**Author's Note:**

> Francium is very short lived element
> 
> also no sex here really just a set up chapter, I've slipped in some slime.

With some collaboration and hard work, Tony and Alce had managed to make some sort of mechanical, and technological beast that could get what Steve and Tony wanted with little help from Alce. According to Tony though, Steve didn’t mind Alce. Tony though was very independant and didn’t see to like or want to rely on someone he didn’t know to well.

Steve couldn’t fault him for that, the contraption apparently would transport their consciousness somewhere else for a brief time. Which was similar to the origami frog fucking, Alce had mentioned that while it was still very much real, it may mute somethings. ‘Not all vessels are created equal’ Steve didn’t quite understand, from what he did get was it had to do with sensory and if they got put into dogs they may have better scent but less feel. Something like that.

Tony said he could make it better with an algorithm, and Alce had agreed initially before also saying something about diminishing returns and possible feedback loops. Not like that would stop Tony though. He was working in the lab with a feverish attempt to get the ‘dream’ chairs ready for a test run.

With Clint’s help on the Shield side Steve was getting paperwork to hire Alce as a contractor of sorts. A magic aficionado or someone that could fill the need, since Strange was usually unobtainable. Phase one of Steve’s plan was done he was ready for the next step but it seemed Alce and Tony were not. As he entered the workshop to hear Tony complain about something while looking over a holoscreen.

“This is a bastardized version of a fourier transformation, how does it even work?”  
It made no sense to Steve looked just like strings of letter with slashes and gobbly gook. Sure if Steve put his mind to it he could probably learn it well enough, he’d been brushing up on some of his physics. Reading a book that Jarvis had recommended him, it was very good but clearly not where Tony was, a beginners book. 

“Oh your kind has finally made something like this?”  
Alce’s nonplussed response, claws shift back to the input field.  
“I suppose if you’ve invented it then no reason to play dumb.”  
Tony looked upset but then his face smoothed over and his arms folded.

“Well some of us aren’t magic.”  
Tony snipped back finally, but the new code had him mollified, Steve couldn’t see much of a difference in the gobbly gook, only that Tony was more relaxed.   
“You aren’t wrong, most of this magic is really just advanced skills, but for me to explain would be pointless, would be like trying to describe a color you can’t see…”  
Alce paused in his typing, he turned to Steve head inclined. The typing resumed and from what Steve could see Tony was very happy, the whole advance science confirmation was some of the best news Tony could have gotten.

“So are the chairs done? Jarvis sent me down.”  
Steve offered in the lull of conversation.  
“Yes just waiting for Alce here to put the finishing touches on the magic algorithm.”  
Tony pulled Steve over to the chairs which looked to be medical chairs.  
“You haven’t specified the parameters well enough, do you want me to fabricate the scene or go in as is.”

“No it's fine, we don’t have to fuck for the first trial.”  
Tony waved Alce off, Steve wished he could get an emotional read on the other. The blank metal mask gave nothing away. Steve felt a cold trickle of fear stir within himself and then it vanished as Alce returned to work on the holo interface.

-

“I’ll be here montering your vitals, the kill switch is Boron. Thinking about that should get you booted from the system and back here.”  
Laying in the reclined medical chair with a soft strap placed over him Steve relaxed as Tony reached out his hand to touch Steve. Maybe they could make the chairs less intimidating the next round. Tony went first, the hand in Steve’s hold went slack.

“I want you to know, this may not be your world, it could be a mirror. Or the past. Nothing was specified.”  
Alce spoke as he finished the last bit needed for Steve to go, which was frustrating because Steve barely opened his mouth to retort and he was off. Spinning colors swirling around him, his ears popped a dozen times. The light dimmed and there he was.

In some sort of murky place, with other bodies squirming around him. He was in water, and the a new sense of proximity alighted within Steve’s mind. He could feel but not quite the touch sense like he had his own bubble of space, and it was getting violated right now.

Okay it took a bit of time to get use to the new body, it was apparent to Steve he was in some sort of water filled bin with others like him. A fish, a very ugly fish, it looked like someone had shoved meat into grey panty hose. His only concern was where Tony was so he could give him a stern fish face over not setting up everything.

He wormed his way through the squirming masses, who would package fish like this anyways? Was he going to be eaten? He moved towards the direction he assumed was the top just based on how he kept drifting towards what he assumed was the bottom. It was slow going but eventually he reached the lighter ‘top’.

Another body pressed into his, almost sensually. Was it Tony? He really couldn’t tell there was a vague taste of metal and coconut. Which he assumed was Tony since the arc reactor’s chip apparently tasted like coconut. He curled around Tony’s body and returned the stroke. This was so odd, he wasn’t sure if this would work.

The gentle sway and rumble vanished and was only noticed by Steve when it stopped. There was noise outside the bin someone was banging around. What if they were worms? Where they going to die on a hook? He panicked wiggled, Tony pressed up against him as if to sooth him.

The lid lifted, there was much light and it temporarily blinded Steve, he was picked up by a vice. His receptors said five, and in a finger arrangement, but they also said metal. He was lifted up and into the face of a familiar friend.  
‘Bucky?’

Bucky made a sneering face at the hagfish he was holding, disgusting creatures. Why hydra needed a whole bin of them? Why had he been sent to get them? He tossed the one in his hand into the bin, wiping the slime residue off on his pant leg. Watching them squirm around in the tight packing.

Steve flopped against the others, anxiety high that was clearly bucky in hydra garb. What had happened to his bucky, had he survived the fall and steve had just left him there? Steve had always felt a bit guilty in Bucky’s death and now even more so. It had been his fault, he should have held on tighter, to have actually looked for him after the fall, ignoring the orders. Done what was right.

Tony was wrapped around him, but at this point he was to far into the what if’s. Maybe he could try talking to Bucky and apologizing to him. He could come back to the tower and they could work it out? Steve moved his body and launched towards Bucky, who was sitting near the bin smoking.

With a mighty wet flop Steve landed in Bucky’s lap, there was a smaller wet flop from Tony who landed on the metal arm. Tony stuck to the arm, sliding down just a bit, the other hagfish in the bin started to wriggle even more. Steve’s anxiety had triggered a chemical shift and the others were responding to the stress accordingly.

“What the fuck, get off!”  
Bucky ripped Tony off his arm and tossed him ont to the road. He just wanted a smoke break why did the fucking fish have to do this now. Standing up he shook, trying to dislodge the slimey one in his lap.   
‘Bucky! I’m so sorry!’

Bucky didn’t seem to understand, and why couldn’t they talk? Tony was out on the hot road baking, small favors Steve couldn’t hear him based on the contortions it probably wasn’t pleasant. There was a sudden fear that they were going to die. Buck looked at the bin next to him.  
“Awe fuck! What the fuck? Fuck.”

The bin was overflowing with slime, more mucus than anyone could shake a stick at. The car was undoubtedly ruined as the slime pooled into the chairs and foot wells, and out the door. Steve was also making a great big slimy mess on Bucky’s pants. Tony was wiggling in his own slime puddle out under the sun. The slime from the car was slowly making its way to his spot.

Steve tied himself in a knot bucky was dropping the f-bomb consistently, and not listening to Steve at all. Finally Bucky dislodged Steve with a wet plop noise, the metal arm wasn’t working with the amount of mucus that had gotten into it, probably fried. He was going to be in so much trouble, ruining the rental car, his arm, and probably failing to deliver these fuckin fish to the scientists.

Stepping out carefully in the 2-3 inches of slime that had coalesced around the car. Bucky opened the passenger door to retrieve his gun. He kicked the one on the ground closer to the car, the only thing to do now was to blow the whole thing. No evidence, they would probably still punish him for the arm but they wouldn’t have to know that winter soldier loss to a bunch of slimy fish.

The one fish that had been in his lap was tying itself around the other he’d tossed and then kicked. Lip curling up it looked like they were propagating right in front of him, like he wasn’t a threat. He aimed his gun he would show those damn fish to fear him!

Pausing there was a distant rumble, a mack truck, red. Bucky squinted at it, then back at the ruined slimed car, executive decision he moved off the road, hopped the rail and vanished into the forest. Fuck it, he didn’t have time for any of that.”

-

Steve came out of the dreamscape first, gasping for air and feeling cold. He tore the flimsy restraint off, standing up and making his way out of the workshop. Avoiding Alce entirely, trying to hide the tears that pooled in his eyes, That had been terrible.

Tony came too a few minutes later, his whole body ached, and one side felt like he had road rash. He got out of the chair slowly, walked over to Alce.  
“This is your fault, I don’t know what you are playing at, but that wasn’t funny. Please get out.”  
Alce would have looked confused if he didn’t have the metal mask on, his body language showed the confusion well but he obliged the other and left the workshop and tower.


End file.
